Today is the type of day in which I really feel like I don’t have anything together. My dreams and hopes seem really far off and I just feel as though they are impossible to reach.
Sometimes I get upset that I wasn’t born into riches, and even more upset that I was never taught how to manage my own life. I fall into pity and just want to give up when these kinds of thoughts cling to me.
It’s hard to remind myself that my God has me, my future spouse, my future children, my future job, house, friends, etc. all in His hands. But He does. He does and I know so because His word tells me He does. Everything I have ever experienced and all the hardships and troubles that come my way have been placed there for my strength and trust to be in Him.
He is my Rock, He is my future, and that alone brings just enough comfort and hope for me to keep on fighting this fight.
Lord, send me someone who will motivate me to draw closer to You for all the right reasons.
You know what I mean, God.
"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up."
— Lucas Scott (OneTreeHill)
Posted 10 months ago
Selah.
To be still. To know that He is God. To stand in awe in the midst of all that He has done, and all that He has yet to do. To pause, and truly appreciate the beauty that is His grace. To remember all the things that He has brought you through, and to imagine all the great things that are to come. To lay at the feet of Christ in absolute amazment for who He is and in that moment, for your spirit to be completely overcome by such a supernatural peace. The appreciation of beauty, the appreciating of love; the appreciation of your every breath.
Sometimes I wonder, is there even such thing as a middle ground? A balance?
Th Bible talks about how one can not love the world and love God, for of one loves the world, the love of God is not in him. It also talks about being lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, and how God will spit you out of His mouth.
This is tough stuff. Our actions portray the condition of heart; Lord, mend it.
I’m tired of being stagnant in not only my relationship with Christ, but in the love and guidance that I give His people. I look around me and see such young woman of God running after His very heart and it completely baffles me. At what moment in time did I decide to stop being one of those very girls? I have no idea.
What I do know is that I can’t change the past; this future of mine, on the other hand, is about to be pretty darn sold out.
Lord, let’s kick some demon butt.
Vision.
God has given me a vision.
I see myself, along with numerous other young adults on the campuses of universities and colleges doing what Christ has called us to do; loving others, carrying their burdens, and bringing them to the Cross. I see tears falling and chains breaking. I see arms lifted and hearts abandoned. I see myself in a position in which I am in no way qualified to be. I see myself outside of my comfort. I see the love Christ imbedded within me being pored out to the lost and broken.
“All the poor and powerless, and all the lost and lonely; and all the thieves, (they)will come confess and know that You are Holy.
And we will sing out Hallelujah and we will cry out Hallelujah.
And all the hearts that aren’t content, and all who feel unworthy, and all who hurt with nothing left, (they)will know that You are Holy.
Will know that You are Holy.”
Fighting a fixed fight and gripping on to the reality that there is no way I can lose. Even with wavering fingers, this battle has already been won.
